I want to move on but feel like I’m being held back
Am I wrong for wanting to be with someone who is willing to give me the world and has been so understand and patient with me. I’ve had a crush on this guy for at least 7 years.
My back story is I just got out of a 3 year relationship. It’s been on and off. Toxic. The first 2 years were extremely abusive, and stayed emotionally toxic. We have a baby together.
I’ve just gotten to the point that I’m now realizing when we’ve gotten back together I have not felt the same love I did before. I’m not happy with him anymore. We’ve gone through so much, and the way he has treated me and gone about our relationship has pushed me away. He’s been trying to get me back and say he won’t leave me anymore and he will provide a home for me and our baby, but he’s been saying that after every break up so far, and I just don’t trust him anymore. Like he now wants to do cute stuff for me and take me out to eat or get me a gift, but I feel like it’s too late. For the past 2 years he’s barley worked and help support our baby. I’m just over the relationship and he won’t accept it. I care for him and I feel bad, but he’s never felt bad for me when he’s broke my heart.
As for the guy that I’ve like for 7 years I call him (T). we’ve gone through some stuff because the two times i would let go of my ex I was wanting to be with T. We build a pretty close relationship within the two months I had no contact with my ex, but my ex guilt trips me of having to try for our baby, but I really need to let my ex go, and I just really want to be with T and start over.
I focus on my baby a lot. I have been the only one supporting our baby. I have not once not focused on him even with dealing with relationships. I try to do what’s best for my baby, but I don’t feel like being with his dad is what’s best, and I also want to be happy with someone.
T understands my situation and is willing to still working things with me. Am I wrong for this? I feel like I can’t do what I want because of my ex. I’m tired of being controlled and just want to do what I want without having someone making a comment on telling me how I should live my life, and it’s so hard when now my ex is in my life forever because of our baby. Should I not care what he says?