Is It Possible for a 3 year old child to be disrespectful?

Question

In short, my BF called my 3 year old disrespectful. When attempting to tell him he needs to use better wording, he became frustrated with me and told me "either you want the truth about your kids and you want me to help you raise them or you don't!!" Leaving no room for my input and any questions or concerns about his statement. I understand that children at that age can be testy but I find it extremely off-putting to refer to a fucking 3 year old as disrespectful but also to be told when she doesn't listen to him it makes him feel like less than a man because his children listen to him and he never had these problems. He even went as far as saying he can only take so much of this before deciding to walk away. I'm a single mother of 2. Ages 6 & 3. I told him I was breaking up with him because  there's no way in hell I'll ever accept being told to sit back and have no opinion about such things as discipline about my kids. What baffles me most is THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED WITH MY 3 YEAR OLD. She listens to him more than she listens to me and the ONE fucking time she doesn't....It goes from here to there IMMEDIATELY!
I'm just looking for some input on the views of children ages 3 and below being considered as disrespectful rather than children who become testy to see what they can or can't get away with. I've read a TON on this and age 3 is that age of learning more independence and acceptable/ non-acceptable behavior. My children are well mannered and have discipline! 
Am I missing something here?

Answer

I think if it's someone elses child then its much more touchy a subject than if it's your own child. I think a 3 year old can be disrespectful, but I also think at 3 that it isnt intentional. My son does things sometimes (3 year old) where I remind him he is being disrespectful and that is not how we behave towards others. I also tell him that we respect him by listening to him and not being unkind towards him and that he needs to treat us (parents) and other people the same way. I think that teaching children to respect others is fine and using the word respect is fine, but if not used in the correct context it can be confusing for a kid if they dont understand what "respectful" means.

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Id be more concerned about him than your kid. Wouldnt raise my children with someone like that.

Answer

I’d walk away now. If he “doesn’t have these problems with his kids” it’s because he wasn’t around them enough to know and be an actual parent. 🤷‍♀️ Your child is 3. My son is 3 next month and he definitely has those threenager qualities. He’s pushing boundaries and it’s very, very difficult to reason with him still. He also can be defiant but I think that plays into the pushing boundaries to see what he can get away with. I would never want to be with a man who acts like raising my children with me is something he’s doing like some sort of favor to me that he dislikes. This guy is making it sound like it’s a burden he doesn’t really want. Why be with someone who will hold that over you all the time? Tell him to go be there for his own kids more and then you find someone who actually loves ALL of you. You’re a packaged deal. He knew what he was getting into...

Answer

My daughter will be 4 in December. She knows right from wrong. Like you said, they try to see what they can and cannot get away with. That doesn’t make the behavior acceptable, though. They do need to listen. You do need to correct that behavior. If my daughter wasn’t listening to me, I would have a talk with her. Because she needs to listen. For her own safety and well being. It sounds like your boyfriend is feeling frustrated and pulled in multiple directions.

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He sounds like an asshole with anger problems 
3 year old test limits. That's the point

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Yes, I believe a 3 year old can be disrespectful. I’ve seen it. However, at that age, they don’t necessarily know what the word “respect” means. They are definitely beginning to know the difference between right and wrong and will for sure test limits. They also tend to repeat a lot of what they see other people do. As a result, when a limit is crossed, it CAN be disrespectful. You just have to sit them down and teach them what that means and set those limits. Discipline is necessary in order to teach them. Contrary to what people may think, they will begin to understand after they receive the proper discipline and explanation of why the behavior they exhibited was disrespectful and wrong. I find it ridiculous when people say “oh they’re too young, they don’t know better” so therefore it’s an excuse for their behavior. Behavior is learnt and at age 3, they have the ability to respond to a parent’s feedback and learn from those mistakes they make. If the parent doesn’t discipline, they will never learn.
On another note, if your boyfriend can’t handle a 3 year old and allows himself to feel “emasculated” by a 3 year old, then he has an issue he needs to deal with. He can’t blame you for that. I’m not sure I would personally break up with someone over that right away. I’d more so aim to go to counseling and work toward learning how to parent the child together. You both need to come to some sort of agreement and choose not to blame one another when a child misbehaves.

Answer

It kinda sounds like u tryi o baby and make excuses for the 3 year old. And tes they can be disrspectful and from what i see its usually because of lack of discipline and training from the parents. My prents use to bring in foster children and 2-4 year olds responded to their discipline and guidance which it sounds like u slightly lack. I had a 2 year old foster kid look at me and my mom and call us “2 biches” and throw his fist up... same two year old later learned to say yes ma”am and no ma”am. 
     You need to do some soul searching possibly and make sure you arent overreacting to him mentioning the child is disrespectful. Do u have other family members who can provide insight who are close to the child?

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Yes at 3 years old they know the basics of what is right and wrong and what is and isn’t acceptable if they’ve been taught it.

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I mean...yes, they can be difficult and test their limits and not listen and tantrum. But HIS reaction to it would absolutely be a deal breaker for me. They’re not HIS kids. If he notices a problem he can talk to you calmly and rationally about it. Good job taking out the trash! ❤️

Answer

A 3 year old is still a baby! What? He needs to tone down and help out instead of creating more stress

Is It Possible for a 3 year old child to be disrespectful?

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