If i took you through the timeline, you would be here for a week reading! Long story short : together 10 years, married for 4, one 18 month princess and countless arguments. Over time i noticed how much he changed. He started losing patience, getting irritated easily, punching things when angry and the rest of the time not caring even if i was upset with him. I may get a couple of days a week or perhaps a few hours a day when hes in a good mood. The rest hes annoyed at something or someone and it usually comes out on me. His answer is always ‘im not in the mood to chat to u right now so just leave it’ whenever i try to sit down after putting little one to bed to try to sort out issues. It doesnt matter how i approach the convo, im always met with ‘not right now’ ‘why fo u wanna argue again’ ‘im not in the mood’ ‘just leave me alone.’ In his mind he is always right even when he blatantly isnt. But recently hes just spiralled even more out of control. I have changed myself so much to suit his personality. Where i was fiesty and stood up for myself alot, i now just let things go and walk away from situations because i know itll just go from bad to worse if i tell him hes wrong. He has no respect for me when he speaks me to most of the time. An example - yesterday he fed my toddler food without checking the temperature was v hot. She instantly cried and i ran in the room worried as hell and said ‘are u stupid?! Why would u not check if its okay first?!’ I know that was rude but his rudeness always trumps mine. His response ‘Listen Fuck girl, just shut the fuck up okay i mean it not a fucking word’. I know he felt bad and was trying to see if she was okay but the way she shouted that at me upset me. I left and went back to the kitchen. She didnt settle with him so i said ill take over and he went into the kitchen and tried to make a smoothie for himself. He then saw the smoothie machine dish was unwashed as i had used it earlier to make something for little one. ‘Are u fucking serious?! Great, just fucking great!’ He then dropped it on the floor accidently. Picked it up and threw it across the kitchen to the sink. Then punched the kitchen cabinet. I said ‘can u leave pls if ur going to do that go upstairs’ as LO was watching him. Again he said ‘u just shut the fuck up okay shut the fuck up u useless piece of shit!’ I didnt say another word and he banged the door shut behind him and went upstairs. I sat there crying silently as i fed my daughter. Thats just one example of when he loses his temper. His response today was ‘u didnt exactly just sit there and take it u gave back too’ i had to remind him i didnt make a peep when he acted like this. Nor do i anymore. He remembers the fiesty girl i used to b and imagines that i wouldnt have taken it so we were arguing with each other. Rather than him just losing it and me and my daughter watching. Im not perfect, i have my moments and i do stand up for myself where i can but more and more i dont bother.

He then left to go gym as i put LO to bed and came back 11ish and tried chatting to me as normal. I had sat there crying for hours, for myself, my shattered dreams if us being a happy family and because i felt sad that my little girl had to see me so upset earlier. I was drained by the time he came back. He then proceeded to ask my what my problem was and why i wasnt as talkative. I told him im tired and that iv been upset. He just said okay. I said dont u wanna talk abiut it? ‘Not really no’ and went to shower.

Sorry for my ramblings, well done to u for getting this far if uv read this all! I have no one else to talk to. Hes a great father and used to be the loveliest guy ever. Hes just horrible now. And hes fallen out of love with me. Because u dont do this to someone you love.