Can I vent?

Can I just vent for a Minute? I’ve never hated myself and it seems like everyone in it so much until now and it sounds so bad. I even have 2 kids who I love so much and a boyfriend. But I can’t stand the arguing with him and the kids. I can’t deal hearing “momma” anymore or the kids arguing. I just want to be alone. I want to be in a dark room and be alone. I want to be happy. I need a break. I need to get my head right. I can’t seem to do anything right, my mood swings are out of this world. Constantly feeling this way. I cry and cry and beg for help with the kids and barely get any. I don’t feel loved or the way I used to feel. I’m too embarrassed to go talk to someone. I’ve been on medicine but it doesn’t seem to work. I don’t want to keep taking medicine and upping doses thinking I need medicine to make me feel normal. I’m just so tired of everything