Jealous of everyone who has family help with kids

Yapp, jealous of everyone who has family who you can TRUST to take care of your kid or family who’s willing to take time out of their day to watch the kids. I’m so emotionally disconnected from my baby right now that I don’t care. It feels like I’m always with her and the SO is working his ass off to support us. I wish I had parents who I can just drive by and just drop the baby of or I can just chill with. Nopeeeeeeee. They live hours away and even if they’re close, they would not respect how we ideally like to care for our baby. My friends don’t have kids and still in the single life. Im just so done. Covid makes baby sitters scary bc we know an entire family (a baby included) who got Covid bc of a babysitter.

I’m just want some relief to do a face mask and play some video games with wine.