If one believes in marriage and the other one doesn't, what would you do?

Question

What would you do if you are in a relationship with a loving partner that demonstrates it time after time and wants a life with you without a doubt but does not believe in marriage? On the other hand the other partner always envisioned getting married and is a a very important value to them. Should one give up a value in exchange for a long evolving loving relationship or no value should ever be sacrificed or revalued for love? The partner wants babies, the house, the dog, the whole package but not the marriage part of it as they believe is just a paper inglicted by society as a form of control and that to love someone you don't have to be married to them.

Answer

I fully believe couples can live fully committed lives with one another, without being married. However, both parties in the relationship need to be on the same page. Sounds like you and your partner are not on the same page. If marriage is a big deal to you, you shouldn’t have to compromise your values for someone else.

Answer

If marriage matters that much to one, it’s never going to work.

Answer

I didn't care about marriage at all. I also didn't want a huge party. 
But as my husband really wanted it. We got married. That was our compromize. In my area, there is basically absolutely no benefits of being married over just being together. Maybe only thing is I can represent him in official business... But I kind of don't see the need for that even.

Answer

Well yes it is just a paper and you don'tneed it to love one another, but it's a paper that lets you see your loved on in hospital if anything is to happen. It's a paper that makes sure no one is going out empty if the relationship won't work and other things. There are a lot of aspects that makr living in this society we have easier.

Answer

WHAT EXACTLY DO I WANT TO HEAR POSTER!! U WROTE A POST LIKE THIS YESTERDAY AND U GOT THE LOTS OF RESPONS TODAY AGAIN U ON THE SAME ISSUE.. MARRIAGE IS THE RIGHT WAY PEOPLE SAY ITS A PIECE OF PAPER THEN OK GET THE PIECE OF PAPER WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND THIS. IF U WANT TO CHANGE YOUR VALUES FOR THIS MAN GO AHEAD BUT YOUR THE ONLY PERSON WHO WILL BE EFFECTED ON THIS DECISION.

Answer

I think the most important is to hold a vows exchange ceremony, even if it's only the 2 of you, and verbalize your commitment to each other during a special event. That way it kind of makes it official.
It can also come with time. Marriage really mattered to me, so my boyfriend agreed to it... after 5 years of relationship. His view changed: he's marrying me although he's scared of 'forever' because he wants to protect me, whatever may happen to our relationship in our future.

Answer

Well, I am kind of indifferent about marriage- I think just choosing to stay together is more romantic than actually being married. 
But if I fell in love with someone & had a great relationship with them, I'd compromise.
So, if I met someone who hated marriage, that would be fine with me.

Answer

Something is off here.....
If person A truly believes in love and commitment and wants to buy a home, have children, live life together.....then taking the next logical step to get married shouldnt be such a sticking point. It is the responsible thing to do....if you truly love the person for a plethora of reasons.
You know, getting married isnt all about the "big party" and its NOT "just a piece of paper". It is a legally binding contract that can protect you. 
It will ensure that in the event of divorce monies will be allocated and evenly distributed, support will be given to the lesser monied spouse and children will be secured in the familial home without risk of eviction by a single titleholder spouse. 
It also protects in the unfortunate event of death. All assets real and liquid are automatically transferred to the surviving spouse (unless specifically deeded to others). Bank accounts, personal property, 401ks, vehicles and the like would need to be painstakingly listed in a will or trust to ensure that the items go to the partner...rather than a parent or living relative. 
It also gives power to the partner in the event of illness or accident. If your partner were to get hurt and medical interventions were needed....if you are not married, then the decisions are not made by you, but rather next of kin...likley his parents. You would be cut out of his care completley. 
The idea that its meaningless is an excuse given by someone who is either extraordinarily irresponsible or someone who is looking to "keep their foot in the door" so to speak. Either way...this person is not a viable candidate to spend your life with. My suggestion is to have a serious heart to heart talk explaining your position. If the person cannot be swayed, then I would walk away.

Answer

I don’t believe in marriage but I’m married 🤷🏼‍♀️ It was something my husband wanted and I still had a ton of fun with the wedding. But to me we didn’t have to get married. It’s just a piece of paper. It’s not like the actual relationship changes or anything. But we talked about it plenty and he knew my views and I knew he wanted to get married one day. I love him so when he asked I of course said yes. Just because he doesn’t believe in it doesn’t mean he won’t do it for you. Sit down and have a real talk. Explain how you feel!

Answer

If it’s a dealbreaker for you, move on.

If one believes in marriage and the other one doesn't, what would you do?

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