Two days ago I made the decision to give up breastfeeding. Since my boy was born, 7 weeks ago, I’ve been nursing him. We started supplementing when he was I think two weeks old due to supply issues. I’ve been struggling with postpartum depression and nursing just made it worse. I would dread his feedings and cry the entire time he was latched. And although breastfeeding my baby was all I wanted, I decided that my mental health is more important, as long he gets fed.

I knew for awhile that breastfeeding was making me feel worse and couldn’t bring myself to stop until I broke down in front of my mom and fiancé about how I hated how sad I felt when I nursed my son. They both supported me and told me that it’s fine if I don’t want to nurse anymore.

I feel horribly guilty every time I give him a bottle though. My heart wants to breastfeed but mentally it’s been too hard. Even though it’s only been two days since I’ve stopped, I already feel better. When I hold my son, I feel happy, which is something I haven’t been able to feel since I had him. I know this decision isn’t for everyone but I’m so glad I made it. Hopefully things start looking up now.