I can't make this stuff up!

So any dealing with terrible 2year old? So yesterday my 2 year old threw my 8year old phone an hit him in the head...The 2year old then proceeds to tell my 8year old that he's telling mom that he punched him in the eye then turned to him an told him hahahahahahahaha.... he's so bad 😵😵 he kicks my dog then tries to give him lovins he will be mean to me an as soon as he knows I'm at my wits I get hit with the I love you Mommy! I feel like I'm dealing with the attitude of a 12 year old! Seriously.