I feel so worthless to him

I posted earlier about how I want to end this lease with him when we just moved in with each other 3 months ago. He’s a mean person when he’s drunk.

We hung out with his friend earlier today and when I told him to slow it down and stop he started a scene where I then told him we had to come home. I apologized to all his friends because I felt so bad leaving real early but i just couldn’t let my bf get more drunk to the point where he blacks out. On the way home he didn’t say a word at all. We came into the apartment and I went straight to the restroom to cry and let it out. I heard him heating up leftovers and then heard him coming to the restroom telling me to give him the keys so he can go buy food which I told him no because he was so so drunk he couldn’t even talk right so I said and he told me to go make him food then. I tried looking for something but he then said “forget you, you’ll never be like those other girls”. I just kept my mouth shut and went back to the restroom and cried.

I never want to cry around him because he just stares at me blankly and shows no emotion and turns away.

I love him, I really do but I don’t know what to do anymore. He has been drinking every single day and when he does we get into an argument because he’s not himself when he drinks. He’s told me he hates me and he’ll never love any girl besides his sister or mom.

All I do is try to keep him safe and make good choices. I care about his health and his future but he is too stupid to realize that.

I want to end this lease with him because I’m so tired of feeling like nothing and him acting like nothing happens the following morning.