My significant other has a habit of blowing up in a rage when I do something to upset him, which causes me to shut down completely, which makes him more mad, which makes me shut down even more, etc...

Today is his birthday. When I reminded him I was going camping this weekend (for the THIRD TIME in the past month!!!) he completely lost his shit and said he didn't know about it, and I shouldn't just spring these things on him. Like McFuckin Excuse Me, maybe you should listen to me when I tell you something?

Then he started ranting about how I don't care about him, and that he's ashamed to even ask his family to do anything this weekend because I won't be here (I already cancelled my plans), and that I never cared about him and I should just leave. Not to mention that his "teeth hurt" and he won't go to the dentist because of covid, so he doesn't even want a cake.

Not like we can even do anything!! He refuses to eat out anywhere, and our usual birthday places (minigolf, movies, mall) he also refuses to go to because of covid.

We've been together since 2004 and are engaged, so yeah, obviously I "don't care" if I've tolerated his fucking man child bouts for the past 16 years.

Sorry. I just needed to vent somewhere. I don't have any family nearby to go to, so I'm kinda stuck with random strangers online. I had a really bad day at work, and coming home to his toddler temper tantrum just gives me a headache.

And he asks me "What's your problem?!" when he sees me sitting here typing and scowling at the phone screen. Like fuck you man, look in the god damn mirror for your answer.

I can't even talk to him. Like part of me shutting down is just EVERYTHING shuts down and I feel like my throat is full of cotton and tied shut.