Got into a bad argument with husband tonight. 😔

It started off as a political argument, which are annoying in their own right, but worse, it got personal.

Him: You don’t care about anything unless it affects you! Did you even care about autism before you started worrying about [our son’s name] having autism?

Me: That’s not entirely true. I at least knew enough about autism to suspect he had it and I was right.

(Keep in mind my husband is still in denial about our son having autism despite that our son is four years old and... 1) does stemming behaviors. 2) Only uses single words to requests things. 3) Got formally diagnosed with autism by a team of professionals.

Yet, husband still denies it, saying he wasn’t evaluated long enough.

But, I’m the one who had to push and push and push to get my son evaluated at two years old. Even the pediatrician was like “let’s wait and see” and my mother kept making the excuse “boys develop slower”. It’s only now that he’s four years old and not potty trained that my mom wants to come around and be concerned. I am so burned out.

Him: You don’t take any personal responsibility. Did you even learn to cook anything before you met me? I had to push you to learn how to cook. You have a self-defeating attitude.

Me: thanks, I have depression.

Him: You need to see a therapist.

Me: ok then I’m waiting for you to make the appointment....

Keep in mind I recently got this man insurance and personally made an appointment for him with my dentist because he has a lot of dental work that he was needing but couldn’t afford. I am also trying to get my son more therapies. I’m so overwhelmed. I just want to feel like he actually loves me, rather than just passively going through the motions of living together.

I wish he’d argue fairly and actually demonstrate that he cares about my mental health. I guess I’ll have to make that appointment myself. 😔 I really do feel like I need to talk to someone or I’m going to lose my damn mind.