How do i know if im ready?

Question

So my husband and i are talking again about having children but im really nervous. How do i know if i have what it takes to be a mom? What if i resent my child? What if i regret it?... I feel like I want to be a mom but this is a big choice. Its not like going shopping and buying something and then deciding to return it later. There is no going back. I just don't know if I can handle the responsibility. I am really nervous but my husband wants to be a father so bad. Any advice? Or book recommendations?

Answer

I think just the fact that you have those concerns shows you’re not jumping into this. Babies are a big deal!! I don’t think we’re ever truly ready. I wanted a baby but was also scared I wouldn’t have what it takes. But we wanted a family so we plowed ahead. Pregnancy was not easy, in fact it was awful. I will never be one of those women that glows during pregnancy. My labor was horrible - at one point I told my doctor I didn’t even want to see the baby when he was born because I was just done. I ended up having a csection something I was so hoping to avoid. I was not in a happy place when my baby was finally delivered - and then I heard him cry. And I know it’s cliche to say - but it changed me. It didn’t make being a mom easy, there are hard days but I wouldn’t trade this kid for anything!! He’s 10 months now and boy let me tell you. Even waiting until I was 30 didn’t make it any easier!!! We wrestle, he cries, I cry, I don’t know how to fix it all, but neither does he, we learn together. All it takes is a simple smile, or his goofy laugh and I’m smitten, I’ve never loved anyone or anything so hard. Being a mom seriously is the hardest craziest most rewarding thing I’ve ever done!! I would do it all over again to get him here!!

Answer

I think those feelings can be normal, and don’t necessarily mean you aren’t ready, but if you just started discussing it you should just ask for a bit more time. Start looking at things with the thought of a child being there, start looking at positive examples around you, places you go, and maybe even watch some mom vlogs. Just give yourself time to consider it. It is kind of also a “jump in” type thing in a way, once you’re ready. Like you’re at the lake, in your swim suit, got sunscreen on, on the dock, and ready to jump in- so jump in if you’re ready! The waters may be new, uncomfortable at first, but if you know you want to swim it’ll all be worth it when you enjoy that water! (Sorry I like cheesy metaphors).

Answer

I was a lot like you, but what made me decide to have the child was I couldn't imagine getting into old age and not having that experience in the end. You should think about what will it mean for you at the end of your journey. If I was let to think about life as I am now probably would still be scared of the unknown. Also giving birth will change you, it's so powerful.

Answer

The other posters are 100% right! 
You truly won’t ever be 100% ready. There will always be doubts. I think one of the blessings of being a woman is that we get pregnant and carry the child...we become mothers in our mindset much sooner than fathers do. I remember my husband saying he forgot I was pregnant...just because I didn’t look pregnant at 4 months! 
I understand not feeling 100% ready and having doubts...I think we all actually go through the doubting period, whether it lasts long or is severe is another question more personal per person..but you also get 9 months of hands in preparation once you’ve (to go with the other posters and yourself) jumped in. The fact your worried shows you care - and I think that means you’re more ready than you think. 😊

How do i know if im ready?

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