To my broken body

You did it once. You gave me a miracle once and now that I have asked you to do it again you mock me. Make me feel like I did the first time, giving me line eyes and hope when I know there is none. I am 9 dpo so many would tell me I still have hope and I am not it yet but after so long of trying I just know. I know it will be another negative. Another horrible 6 days of Aunt flo visiting and another week of trying to say there is always next month. Due to circumstances out of my control i will have to move away from the doctors that give me the best chance for another miracle so I feel the clock ticking. After this month I will only have 5 chances left and knowing my luck and past that is not good odds. So please just give me a break and stop toying with me by making me feel as if there is hope it just hurts too much now....