I hate my husband...

I really do. I’ve always financially provided for us up until I was pregnant and my daughters first 10 months of life. He struggled to do that so I would always do odd jobs to generate income to at least cover my own needs and things for baby. 2 months before she was one he told me he wanted to see other people and I wasn’t pulling my end of the weight. So I moved to another state with my sister. We would work opposite shifts to watch each other’s kids since I couldn’t afford child care. I got food stamps , worked as much as possible and started doing good for myself. 3 months after I left my husband said he wanted his family back, moved out of state with me but things didn’t get better. He started cheating on me 2 weeks after he got there, didn’t help pay any bills or save any money. So I brought my car on my own but I still put his name on it , gave him full access to it . The only thing I asked was he pay the insurance.

Fast forward a year from then, I now make 3600 a month but now we live on our own and I pay all the bills by myself. He only pays the light bill which is at most $150 a month and his half of our phone bill. I pay for my daughters child care, diapers, clothes and shoes on my own. I put gas in the car for us to drive, I pay the car note and car insurance , I buy groceries and things around the house by myself.

Doing everything by myself is a burden and he always says he’s trying but he could try harder. This has put real stress on our marriage and cause big fights and resentment . I hate him so much bc I tell him all the time I’m even more angry bc I don’t have a family that will help me if. I fall short on bills, or give us a place to stay if we’re homeless. He can always count on his mother. So I feel like he doesn’t care to try bc if things don’t work out here, he just goes back home to her and I’m left with nowhere to go. His mother and I have a rocky relationship so I wouldn’t live with her.

So last night we got into a big fight and he told me I don’t motivate him and I make him wanna kill himself. This is the same man who has sat by and not provided a dime to either of the cars I purchased , but I told him to save his money, I’ll match what he saves and help him buy a car. The same guy who pays barely any bills, the same guy who’s credit I’m trying to fix, the same guy who I tried helping get into school... I don’t motivate him and apparently I make him wanna kill himself. So I said fine! You win. What do you want? He asked me to book him a ticket back home for tmrw y’all!!!! He doesn’t even have the money to pay for it . Not to mention my lease is up in September . I’m moving and he agreed to help more with bills in the new place bc it’s more expensive. So now I have to pay the moving expenses by myself on top of everything else I pay for ALONE! If he wants out I understand but as a man , make sure things are taken care of before you just walk out. How do you just leave before making sure I’m okay to take care of our child alone. It’s not like he can afford to take her.

He doesn’t see why I get so upset with him but this is why. He always can just walk away leaving me to do everything alone and has no care in the world for it. I hate him so much. I can’t believe I’ve put up with this man for nearly 10 yrs.