I lost my shit today. My fiancé has always treated me decently well, we’ve had hiccups but we’ve always worked through them. (Nothing bad just normal couple stuff) He’s always treated my daughter like his own, her father is present but he’s been an amazing father figure to her. Sunday I went out with my maids of honor to talk about the wedding and he had my daughter.

Later I got home, they were out, got home. I found out he had been smoking weed... (which he does, but has never to my knowledge smoked when he’s responsible for her) to elaborate he won’t smoke if it’s just the two of them. He has if I’m home. But he was responsible for her drove 40 minutes to our friends house... then drove home high with my daughter... I have 50/50 custody. I lost my shit... how could he put her in that situation? What if something happened...? She could of gotten hurt or if he got pulled over I could lose custody. How could he be so fucking irresponsible?

Then yesterday my exhaust fell off my car.. he has the better of the two cars so I called him and he’s like well just drive it home. I didn’t have much of a choice. But he kept saying there isn’t much we can do the new (old) car he bought me needs tires and to be registered but with everything with covid the dmvs are nightmares. Regardless I sent him a long text about how I’m refusing to drive the car since it’s not safe the exhaust and muffler fell off while I was driving it and it started over heating. He played it off like a joke and I flat out refused and said I wasn’t driving it and I would call out of work I didn’t care.

All yesterday he played it like it was a joke and apologized for driving my child high. But now i can’t help but wonder if this is a man I ultimately want to have kids with. Especially right now.. we’re actively trying to have kids.. I’m contemplating going back on birth control... but maybe I’m over reacting.. I don’t know.

I obviously love him but between all this, family drama and our failed attempt at wedding planning I just think I need a break.