I’m going to say this here because I need to tell SOMEONE, and I don’t want to get my husband’s hopes up and I feel like no one else will understand.

We are on cycle 4. My husband had his vasectomy reversed 5 months ago. We had been trying to get the VR for over a year. And, the whole time I’ve had this mental headspace of, “it’s not going to happen”. I don’t know why. Our odds of success were decent, but it just felt like it wasn’t going to happen.

This month, however, has been completely different. I just feel like this is our cycle. And, I keep getting all of these little signs. And, I feel positive and hopeful for the first time in 5 months. And, I just wanna share and get some emotions out.

So, physically, this cycle is different because I didn’t ovulate super early! I tend to ovulate on CD 9 or 11. This cycle, I’m CD 12 and just starting to get darker OPKs. I’ll probably ovulate on CD 14. This cycle is also different because I have approximately two-three times the amount of CM I typically do, and my libido is back. Finally.

Speaking of CD 14 — that falls on August 27th. For FOUR months, I’ve gotten tiktoks & Facebook posts about how something great is going to happen to me on August 27th. I would consider ovulating & conceiving pretty great!

We decided to organize our daughter’s closet after living here for about six months (bout time, right?!), and we found TONS of ‘little sister’ outfits that she apparently had that she never wore and I don’t remember her having. She was probably given them as hand-me-downs, but it just felt sweet to stumble across them. Especially now.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I pray every night. And, I asked God for some kind of sign if this was our cycle. I asked to see porcupines (I wanted to specifically ask for something that’s uncommon that I wouldn’t imagine to see everywhere. So, like, how you can find a circle pretty much anywhere if you look.).

Well, the next morning, The Wiggles has a segment on porcupines. The first tiktok I see during my daughter’s nap time is of a porcupine chasing a kid around a yard. And, then that night, my aunt posts about a family of porcupines on her back deck.

Maybe this isn’t my cycle. And, I’m just getting my hopes up sky high for no reason. But, I feel hopeful & positive for the first time in so long that I’m just going to enjoy it. Send us prayers & baby dust this cycle ❤️