Girls I need help to get my mind off things I've been ttc for over a year and my bestfriend got pregnant in 2month she has had her 20week ultrasound today

I'm 9dpo and know I'm not pregnant and everytime she messages me about it or I think about not being pregnant I just break out crying to the point that I cant breath and I hate myself ive never been like this before im just feeling lost :(

I've also got her gender reveal this Sunday....

Sorry if this makes no sense im crying while I write this.