Does anyone else feel this way?

I’m in love... really I am. But I just saw this woman’s video singing about how happy she is because she found this guy, and I’m like... holy crap, I’m in LOVE with my SOULMATE and I’m MISERABLE and have never shown him the joy she showed in that video 🤦🏾‍♀️ like... I can only imagine what it would feel like to have someone sing like that to them and I wonder... have I given that feeling to my man?

Idk... I know it’s dumb to compare and it’s not about the comparison, truly. It’s about feeling guilty that I’m not bringing joy or fun... I remember we were at this comedy show and the guy said “having a girlfriend who suffers from depression is like being a fan of a sports team that always looses....” he looked over at me for permission to laugh... but it was really funny. How could he not laugh? He laughed pretty damn hard though when he saw I was already laughing... I wasn’t offended by this I just felt sad that this is what I am, in metaphor: a sports team that always loses. The rest of the joke goes, “you ask her how her day was and she says ‘ok’ and you’re like yeahhh!!!!!!!” 😂 it’s true. But I’m sad. And I feel guilty.

Anyone else feel like this?