17yrs TTC, 2nd round and 6th cycle this round of 150mg Clomid. I’M FEELING SOO HOPELESS😭

We’ve been TTC, 17 LONNNNNG ASS YEARS!!!!!! They’ve gone by so slow too. I’ve done 2 rounds of Clomid. Started at 50mg and have now worked my way up to 150mg, this and last cycle. This next cycle coming up any day, I will have done 6 cycles of Clomid, this round. I had 1 pregnancy, in which I had a MMC @10w. Actually, tomorrow will be the 1yr anniversary of when I found out I was pregnant with our son, Karter. Needless to say, I’m beyond not ok right now!!! I’m beyond sad, angry, etc.. All the feelings I felt when we lost him. It’s like a f*cking repeat of my MMC, when I found out my son had no heartbeat, at my first ultrasound, at 10w. Took us 16yrs to get pregnant, only for him to be taken from us. Anyways, me talking about my MMC probably isn’t what I should talk about on here. I have PCOS, so my periods are anywhere from 31-50 days long. I rarely ovulate, but am not anovulatory. I still have rarely ovulated even with the Clomid. Last cycle, with upping my dosage to 150mg, I finally did ovulate, but with no luck. I kept swearing up and down that I was pregnant. I felt every bit of pregnant, but every test is BFN!! Even with me being on day 5 of my Progesterone today, there’s still no sign of AF. progesterone always makes me start too, so it’s weird. My body is broken. It doesn’t seem to know how to do what it was meant to do. I’m sooo exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically. My hormones are all over the place from the high dosage of Progesterone to start my period, and then the high dosage of Clomid, to ovulate. I FEEL LIKE TOTAL AND UTTER CRAP!!! I don’t know if we should give up, or keep going since we finally did get pregnant last year. My follicles are never very big though, so that sucks. I just keep praying and praying that God will bless us with our miracle baby. GOING ON A RANT: I’m SOO sick of seeing all these little, teenage girls get pregnant on accident and doing horribly at raising their child or having an abortion. Or drug addicts/alcoholics having babies and having drug addicted children because they wouldn’t even stop using while pregnant. Or baby coming out deformed or with horrible issues, thanks to “mom”. Or people who have a ton of kids and don’t know how to take care of 1, let alone the whole bunch. I know life isn’t fair, but DAMN!! If you read all of this, thank you very much for reading my rant. I appreciate you. Feels good to be heard. Nobody, and I mean nobody, in my life, understands what I’ve been going through for 17yrs. They can empathize, but just don’t “get it”. I need to talk to people that can truly understand. I’m a mother without children, and it hurts so extremely bad. I just want to be blessed with 1 child. That’s all I’m asking God for. Just one, please God. If I got blessed with more, HOLY CRAP THAT’D BE FANTASTIC. But, I’m only asking and praying for at least one. I HATE INFERTILITY, PCOS, AND HYPOPLASIA...,I cant even begin to explain what Hypoplasia is, but I will a little bit. Just know, it makes it almost impossible to get pregnant. And that any pregnancy I have will have AT LEAST a 75% chance of ending in a MC, usually in the 2nd trimester. Those stats are because I have a newborn sized uterus. It’s a birth defect. I just found out the stats a couple day’s ago!! I’m beyond floored and utterly shocked in disbelief. Thank you for reading. I truly appreciate you!! Lots of love, prayers and baby dust to us all💖 ✨✨✨✨♥️🙏🙏🙏🤰🤱 XoXo