Dad touched me?
When I was a little kid my mom warned me that if anyone ever touched me down there to come running to her and tell her right away. I remember very weird things from my child hood. I loved just plain white sugar and always wanted some, my dad wouldn’t do this around my mom but when we were alone he would lick his finger and dip it in the sugar and let me lick it off of his finger. Sometimes even a few times at once, he would even tell me to lick it all off.. I never realized how weird that was until now. Lots of times it would hurt going pee but I never had a uti or anything. He would tickle me but when we were alone he’d mostly tickle my inner thigh really high, like unnecessarily high. According to my mom there was even a time I ran downstairs and told her he touched me down there. I was also interested in really weird stuff. I somehow knew things touching me down there felt good. I remember when me and the kids my mom babysat for would be in the basement playing and I would shove toys in my pants when we were playing because I said it felt good. I was literally like 4-5 years old. I wanted to watch the boys pee and I wanted them to watch me. I never liked being with my dad. I literally would cling to my moms side most of the time. I was always for some reason scared. I’d even sleep with my lights on. This was all about 5 years old or younger. I don’t have many memories at all from then. I know all of it sounds really messed up.. does that sound at all like it could be my dad doing stuff to me when I was little? I think it all stopped when I told my mom he touched me down there. I love my dad, but being completely honest he can definitely be a strange guy. And the thought that he could’ve done something makes me uncomfortable. I live by myself now, I’m going to start therapy for my anxiety this month so I might end up bringing this up.