21 + 4 with Baby #2

I think being an essential worker, pregnant, and a toddler mom during an ongoing pandemic has been more of a challenge on me mentally than I’d like to admit. For just about half of this pregnancy I really really struggled to enjoy it. Work stress trying to manage my store when policies are constantly changing, marriage stress as a result of the pressure I’m already feeling at work, and endless fatigue of never being able to catch a break because as soon as I come home from work it’s mom mode for the rest of the night have really taken it out of me. Some days I struggle with my self image. I often just think I look fat and not pregnant. I often wonder if I’m even eating enough because I rarely have time to sit down for a full meal. My body hurts a majority of the time and most days I just feel so burnt out.

Today, I decided to get dressed up despite knowing that the only thing going on today was contractors coming to my house to fix a gone wrong DIY door installation. I put on lipstick despite knowing that even if I do go out somewhere, I’ll have a mask on and no one will see my mouth. I did that because I wanted to just feel good. And I do. Today I feel good.