Alone & overthinking

I feel like my boyfriend is slowly falling out of love with me. My depression is getting bad & im starting to become more anxious (I’m pretty sure it’s from work) so I’ve had quite a few anxiety attacks this past week & yesterday I wasn’t having the greatest day. Ive been having a lot of suicidal thoughts and self harm thoughts (I haven’t self harmed in about 4 1/2 years) and he asked me how my day was going yesterday and I told him that I wasn’t having a great day and he asked me what was wrong and I told him how I was feeling really low & he never responded & it just made me feel even more alone. We were suppose to hang out today since we both have m the day off but he hasn’t bothered to answer & I just can’t help but overthink that he doesn’t want me anymore.