So I’ve been pretty down lately.. I feel completely worthless and disgusting. I can’t even explain it all. I just lay here and think of all the things I’ve screwed up In my life, and blaming myself for the reason why both my kids fathers aren’t In their lives.. I guess my picker was fucked, and I was married to them.. ha. I’m just ate up with bad luck. Now I’m pregnant with my 3rd child and I’ve been with this man for almost 2 years and I couldn’t be happier, but of course, my relationship isn’t perfect! I just can’t stop obsessing over things I can’t control and the thing that keeps replaying in the back of my head- is how I never wanted to be the type to have 3 kids by 3 different men. When I was a little girl, I just wanted one man and have all my kids by him! But clearly that didn’t happen. The man I’m with now loves my children dearly and he’s a good father to his own son. But like I said, I just feel completely worthless and like a loser mom for not giving my kids the best life.. And picking the man to father them.. maybe if I had, they would both know what’s it like to have a real dad..