It will get better

I wanted to share my story on here for anyone who is becoming depressed and defeated with their TTC journey.

September 2018 was my husband and I’s first month trying. I never thought I would still be here in September 2020 without our precious baby. Let’s start with some back story. I have always had extremely painful periods. Sometimes I would even pass out from the pain. No matter how many times I went to a doctor they just said “yeah it’s probably endometriosis”. So I knew this journey wasn’t going to be easy with the doctor I had. I decided to get a new doctor. She had just told me to try for a year and then come back in if we don’t conceive. Fast forward to month 11. We finally got a positive test! The happiness shortly turned into sadness when we had our 6 week appointment. Our baby was gone. And all the doctor told me was I had to wait 6 more months before we could do anything. After the next 6 months passed with no luck we went in again. This time the doctor did no tests, she just sent my husband for tests. At this point I still have not been told about ovulation tests, I didn’t even know they existed. Once my husbands test came back she sent him to get the exact same test a second time. We got the results and then they never said what we were supposed to do with them! I finally decided to reach out to a friend and she recommended her doctor. I made the appointment with him and in the mean time I did my own research. I discovered ovulation tests. Come to find out my body only ovulates on random months.

Finally to the new doctor. He checked me out gave me tips on when to use the tests and when to have sex for the best chances of conceiving. He also sent my husband to a urologist to get medication for his test results. We are now waiting 3 months to see if my husbands meds work and if they do not, I will go back in and show him my weird ovulation schedule and hopefully get some answers for my body.

Through all of this, I have learned that it’s okay to be sad, but I can’t let it ruin my day or even month. I have actually become a different person through all of this. A lot of times sad, but I have found ways to cheer myself up (I discovered I’m actually a pretty good artist) and I found new people who can cheer me up as well and help me enjoy life in the moment. Now that I have a new doctor, I feel like he actually cares and will actually help! I dont know how we are supposed to pay for everything, but that’s a story for another time.

The moral of this is that yes it’s okay to be sad, but talk with your partner about it. Don’t hide the sadness from everyone, and especially find people who genuinely care about YOU (that includes doctors).