First pregnancy ended in Blighted Ovum

Desiree

I should be 20 weeks and a day right now. But I'm not. I don't know how to go about my life. Nothing feels right. My blighted ovum was confirmed at 10 weeks, and my D&C was done on July 17th, exactly 12 weeks, and I feel so stupid. I never got to see my baby, I never heard a heart beat, all I was given was a view of an empty sac. I feel like I don't deserve to as upset as I am, like I don't have a right to be depressed still. I think about my baby every day, multiple times a day, and I feel myself wanting to cry at the drop of a hat over nothing at all, the hormones have returned to normal, but I'm so emotional still. It feels like expected to be over it and back to normal but I can't, my co workers and boss act as though it never happened, asking me why I've become so quite in the recent months. I became pregnant when I was hired, I'm almost certain it was the same day, so the entire time I've worked there I was pregnant, then I was miscarrying, then I was in surgery and on recovery, but now it feels as though I'm expected to pretend it never happened. I just feel so numb, I don't know what's right for me to be feeling anymore.

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COMMENT (5)

Je

Posted at
You grieve anyway you need to. You will for the rest of your life. Your loss will never be forgotten momma. The hurt is raw and cuts deep everyday like you said. Mine hasn’t gone away and I don’t anticipate it to ever. We just hope one day we can have that rainbow baby. Sending you tremendous amounts of prayers my friend ❤️❤️ God bless

De

Desiree • Sep 13, 2020
Thank you I appreciate it

Ke

Posted at
My first pregnancy was a blighted ovum too. My D&C was oct 8 2019. I also felt stupid because I had bought baby clothes already and a crib. And then this stuff was just sitting in my house unused. We own our house so we planted a tree for the baby that never was. Sometimes I still get sad about it but time did heal a lot of my pain.

De

Desiree • Sep 13, 2020
(Hit send too soon but mistake) I also had my diaper bag packed and my hospital bag

De

Desiree • Sep 13, 2020
I'm sorry to hear that, thank you for sharing. We don't own, but otherwise I'm in the same boat. We have close to 800+ diapers and 1000+ wipes