Bedtime?

Question

Curious to know, for those that have bedtime around 6:30-7:30, are y’all strict on it? We typically like to have our son down in his crib by 7. We have found the later he sleeps, the earlier he wakes up. Having dinner with my husband’s sister and her family is tough because they are always running late and just naturally are later people than us (wake up, eat, nap, go to sleep). My brother has always seemed to understand, they have 3 kids... 7, 10, 12. I always adjusted my schedule for them when they were younger. Last night we had dinner to celebrate my dad’s bday. Rarely see my brother bc of covid. We got there at 5... they know we wanted to have our son in bed by 7. We ended up leaving a little early (ahead of dessert) at about 6:50, they live 15 min away, and we still had to give him his bottle/get him ready for bed. When all was said and done, we were about 45 min later than normal. When we were leaving my brother made some backhanded comment and my SIL gave a snarky face and was just super cold. I wanted to cry the whole way home. Apparently they think we are too rigid and wanted us to stay and hang out. 
There’s so much more I could add but don’t want to write a novel. Curious to know how others deviate from their typical schedules?

Answer

We are a little flexible about the schedule. Our goal is always to be in the crib around 7:15. Sometimes we can’t get him in there until 7:45. However, our flexibility is really based off of what he does during the day. If he slept in longer than normal we push nap back by a little or if he was up early and didn’t nap well he will be in bed by 7. Our kid does roll with a little flexibility just fine. Some kids just aren’t as flexible and adjusting bedtime by a few minutes ends up being a total nightmare. You know your child best and are the one handling the meltdown if he’s over tired. So I say do whatever works for your kid and what is easiest for you. Just try to ignore the unproductive comments.

Answer

We’re not super strict with bedtime. My husband takes care of bedtime since I work some evenings and it just ended up being easier than switching when she was little. It’s usually bath after 7:00pm then milk and my husband rocks her until she either falls asleep on him or asks to go in her bed. She’s usually in her bed between 7:45 and 8:15. She’s usually up the next day around 7:00-7:30. We aren’t as strict with it when we’re visiting family or they’re visiting us, we don’t get to see them that often because we live four hours from family. We just know it’s gonna mess with our routine and we’ll be tired. We follow our daughter’s cues no matter what time it is, if she’s looking tired, is asking to go night-night, or seems to be grumpy then he puts her to bed. 
I would totally understand someone being more “strict” with bedtime because I see how it makes a difference sometimes with my daughter’s ability to function. It’s not fun for anyone when a toddler is overtired and cranky. It’s not fun when they get up early the next day and that makes everyone else tired. I don’t blame you at all. I’m sorry that your brother seems to have forgotten what life is like with little, little ones. You have to do what’s best for you and your family, sometimes that means leaving early for everyone’s sanity.

Answer

Sometimes it's unavoidable to deviate from their schedules but for a family dinner which is largely in our control not a hope I would! Your brother and SIL were out of line. As someone already said they are out the other side now with older kids and have conveniently forgotten what it's like to disrupt little ones routine.
I don't know what your relationship is like with them but maybe no harm to give them a phone call or text saying you were so happy to get to spend time with them but that the comments when you are leaving take the good out of the celebrations? X

Answer

It kinda depends for us how long he slept during nap. If he sleeps until 2:30pm, we let bedtime slide til 7:30-45, but you are right.. the later they go to bed, the earlier they wake up it seems. On daycare days we have him in bed by 6:55 most nights and he sleeps til 6:30 or 7! But his daycare naps are crappy. 
We don’t deviate from our bedtime schedule often because he’s up between 6 and 7am regardless. Might as well make sure they get that extra hour of sleep ! And we get a break too 😉

Answer

We go by our daughter’s cues so no strict bedtime but I do hate messing up our routine. She’s usually in bed by 8:30 the latest. It sucks when we have to keep her up, there’s no way we can enjoy our evening with a cranky baby. She also usually doesn’t sleep well when she goes to bed late and to top it all wakes up early anyway. 
Don’t pay attention to what other people say, I know it’s hard to not be bothered by it, but they are not the ones taking care of your child. They don’t know what’s best for them and they are also not the ones dealing with the consequences. 
It’s hurtful to be judged by family. I’ve been judged about most topics, breastfeeding, sleep, you name it. I actually realized how much I had judged my SIL before having my own child (and one of the reasons I judged her was that she had a strict schedule for my niece). Maybe their kids are so much older they are not in touch with what it’s like to have a baby anymore. 
Don’t question yourself, you’re doing what’s best for your family ❤️

Answer

Weekdays, we try not to deviate from her bedtime routine and we try to always be home in plenty of time. Weekends we make exceptions just because sometimes that's how the plans fall. If she is getting tired on the weekends, we call it quits on whatever we're doing and head home. It is so important for our babies to get their sleep and to have a decently consistent schedule. I'm sorry your brother was disrespectful. You'd think he would understand with having 3 kids of his own.

Answer

So we always start a routine after dinner which is around 430-5. Done with dinner by 530, bath every other day 545-6?, then quiet play, books and bed by 645-7 with some slight leeway depending on when his nap ended.
Last night we too had an event to go to and didn’t get home until 6... rushed dinner (he smacked at the event so it was more of a before bed snack) skipped bath and he went down more like 715? But yea... we don’t dare stay out late bc it really
Screws his sleep AND naps up for like a few days after 🤷🏼‍♀️

Bedtime?

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