Gonna post this anonymously because I understand some controversy.

My stepson is 14yo and has been bullied in school, attempted suicide when he was 11 and has been diagnosed with asd & adhd.

Last week he had told me in confidence about having followed a bully *once* with a knife with the intent to kill. (didn't do it because the bully wasn't alone)

We talked about it in a calm manner about why he wouldn't and shouldn't do such a thing.

Creating too much drama would make him feel too "interesting" which would fuel such actions or at least such thoughts to plan such things...

Now because it's a serious matter I had to tell my husband and he told the psychologist who then said thesame thing I figured.. That creating too much drama would only fuel that sort of behavior/thoughts.

But my husband had already told his ex he had to tell her something before he went in with the psychologist. Because the psychologist advised against telling her as she was a bit worried about her creating drama if she found out..

Well my husband told her anyways.

Now she's creating drama anyways 🙄

Not because of what my stepson told me, but because he told me and not her 🙄 she called me a liar (to my husband) because she doesn't believe my stepson to be as comfortable with me for him to tell me... (yet stepson tells me he's not comfortable with her because she puts on a façade.. But that's not relevant here.. I do understand her reaction because as a mom you want to feel like you know your child best and for them to confide in someone else before you hurts, I get that, but that doesn't make me a liar)

My husband told her that the psychologist said not to put him under pressure to tell her or to create drama over it..

But he wasn't sure if she was going to do it.

I feel bad about this really.

It's a serious matter and I should always notify my husband... but with this sort of drama, definitely for something my stepson told me in confidence..

I'm thinking I'll just keep it to myself the next time.

It's not good for my stepson to be in this predicament.. And I'm all stressed now too

(I have a combined asd/add problem which is similar to his which is probably part of why he feels he can confide in me, he doesn't exactly know, but he might feel understood? My asd/add isn't talked about, I adapted to life and my husband doesn't even know)

@Katy

Sorry, I can't reply anonymously 😔

I'm worried that if I tell him that, he might just not talk to me about "the bad stuff" anymore? Which is probably the most important he should be telling someone (preferably someone who wouldn't call the cops)

Edit:

Thx guys!

Ofcourse you're all absolutely correct! I'm just worried next time he's feeling this way he might just not tell anyone but just do it.

Obviously I pointed out some of his best traits to make him think about his potential victim.

He' s very empathic and I referred to the families of his potential victim.. Even if the victim(s) "deserve" to die in his mind, does the family deserve the hurt, and that had an impact on him, because he agreed they don't deserve that hurt, he hadn't thought about that before but I doubt if he'll ever forget.