Is it ok to move in with my boyfriend and his family?

Question

Hey guys, I need some help deciding.
Option#1: Stay with my parents who are controlling and be with a family with strong traditional values *that I do not equally share* save money, and just live with their respect.
Option#2: Stay with my boyfriends house with his family *they live me and accept me* and go to college without my "family's guidance" *it would be very very frowned upon if I do because I'm not "married".
I want to respect my parents but I also want to take control of my own life and my own decisions. *I'm 21 by the way* My boyfriend and I want to save money for a house instead of paying high rent. He pays his parents a small amount of rent. *out of respect for living there, being 24 and using their electricity, etc."
I want to be happy and go to college, make my own decisions, without my family barking over my shoulder with every decision I make. I am very serious with this relationship with the guy and so is he, *We* want a successful future, but it is hard when my family does not accept him. I also have a plan *financially* and I am not just jumping into making this decision. Every advice helps!! Thank you!!❣

Answer

Wait until you can afford to live alone... either student housing or a student apartment. I would not recommend moving into bf family place or even living with bf. I am traditional myself... and abandoned those values and it cost me a great deal. So I say seek freedom without risk or dependency on another.

Answer

How long have you two been together. The issue can be living together may change your relationship and then you may not be able to go back to your families house.

Answer

If you’re trying to save money, why would you move into your boyfriends home when he has to pay rent. Wouldn’t you most likely have to contribute as well? Just for monetary reasons, I would suck it up and stay with your family. A traditional family who teaches respect is not wrong. At the age of 21, I’m curious to know in which ways are they “controlling” of you? 
Personally, if my parents weren’t in agreement with the idea of me moving in with a boyfriend and I was at risk of losing the support of my family because of my choices, I would reconsider those choices. The respect of my family is more important to me than being able to “do whatever I want” so to speak by not living under their roof anymore. Surely there is something you can work out with your parents if you feel they’re controlling certain parts of your  life. But don’t just give that up so easily.

Answer

Honestly, the whole “wait to move in together until you’re married or ____” doesn’t make sense to me lol. You really don’t know someone until you love with them. I’m not saying date for 2 weeks & then move in but I think if you’ve been together for more than 6 months then it should be fine.

Answer

Wait until you can afford a place just you two. Or for you, live with roommates while going to college. I don’t recommend living with someone else’s parents and that might be even more insulting to your parents being conservative

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If ur going to do all that, you need to have him give u a deeper level of commitment, at least an engagement ring. I wouldn’t ruin things with my family if I don’t have something more concrete with the guy.

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I did something similar at your age because my parents were extremely controlling and abusive. Sadly it became a stepping stone for getting where I needed to be in life because the relationship did not work out. He ended up never being ready to leave and I ended up leaving with all the money I saved up and getting my own apartment. I told him he could move in when he was ready, but he liked staying with his mama so ￼I eventually broke up with him and then he started stalking me 🤦‍♀️

Answer

I personally would never live in my significant other parent’s house... that’s just really juvenile to me and sounds like you’re just trying to “run away” from your parents. Why don’t you two get a place together?

Answer

I would try to stay were you are now. Living with him and his family could change your relationship. It’s not like your just moving in with him. You living with his family. So I would wait until you can move out on your own without his family. Good luck.

Answer

If you want to be happy go for it

Is it ok to move in with my boyfriend and his family?

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