Today I heard that a lady that I loved and someone who made an impact on my life, for the 16-18 months I lived in that state, died. I don’t know why, but I’m not really sad. I don’t really feel anything different. I knew she had terminal cancer so it wasn’t too big of a surprise. I hadn’t seen her in 6 years.

This isn’t the first time though. I had a man that I looked up to like a grandpa die either last year or the year before. I hadn’t seen him for a long time either. I never really felt sad. I never fully grieved. He was really old so it wasn’t unexpected either.

I do fear death, even though I shouldn’t because I’m a Christian. But when the people I love die, I almost feel at peace with it. I know they were Christians.

I cry more when a book or movie character dies! Is there something wrong with me? Should I feel nothing or peace or whatever I feel when a loved one dies?

Someone I didn’t really know but always hugged at church died last year. I cried a bit about that but again not much. I was sad though.

Is something wrong with me??