I'm on my 18th month ttc with month after month of negative tests. I've been on medication and it's not helping.

My partner convinced me to get an abortion last April and now he regrets it and wants a baby and now I can't get pregnant again.

I blame myself every day for this. I always said to myself I'd never get an abortion because I know how hard it is for my to fall pregnant (I have serious pcos).

Every day I cry. Ttc is so stressful, I have a stressful job and a few of my family members have become sick.

My partner works away from home Monday-Friday and I work every weekend so we never see each other.

I'm very depressed. I want to hurt myself. I don't want to be here anymore. My life is just constant stress.

I can't find a doc to refer me to a counsellor because they're all booked out or not taking new patients because of covid.

I don't know what to do anymore...