Antidepressants *TW

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Has anyone here experienced suicidal thoughts while on antidepressants? I've tried so many medications and I'm finding that most of the SSRIs I've tried spikes my anxiety and makes me feel suicidal. I've tried one anti-psychotic and I had an allergic reaction to it.

I've gone through several doctors, they are now afraid to give me anything else and keep pushing me to the next person but I'm running out of options. I have an appointment Friday I'm hoping to reach out then.

I know everyone if different and reacts to medication differently but if you had difficulty finding a med that worked, what finally worked for you?