I should be excited

Ri

Ri

I struggled with this with my first pregnancy as well. This is my second. I have infertility issues and always wanted a big family. So I should be so excited right? Like I should be glowing....where is my glow?

I am almost 11 weeks and I am miserable. I am so exhausted now instead of barfing all day long I dry heave because I don't eat enough to barf as frequently as my body wants to. I had diarrhea then constipation and now hemorrhoids. I am so exhausted from chasing a toddler around all day and dry heaving. I have an autoimmune disease and it is flaring up and I can't sleep or get comfortable. My feet are already swollen because of it. I have had 4 yeast infection so far as well.

I know I am living my dream I am just in sense of doom of this is going to last another 7 months for me. I have no one to help with my son if I need anything as it is. Between COVID and my my mom just had a stroke I am feeling like there is no village.

I know this is all temporary just right now I am absolutely so miserable. I don't want to complain I am just exhausted as I am writing this I woke up just dry heaving again.

No one talks about the guilt associated with pregnancy especially with mom's with infertility issues. I know I am grateful I feel so guilty for writing this.

126 views • 3 upvotes • 2 comments

COMMENT (2)

Al

Posted at
I’m sorry you’re going through a lot. 😔This would suck. It’s meant to be a joyful time but not everyone gets it. Maybe it will come later? I don’t think it could last the whole time right? So amazing that you go through all this and you’re still looking after your little one. Sounds like you don’t realise how amazing you are.

Ri

Ri • Sep 18, 2020
Thank you, hoping for a better day