I don't know where else to post this. I need to talk about it, but not to anyone in my real life. I dont know how to feel.

My bf and I are going through a rough patch and trying to work things out. Last night we were kissing and things started progressing. I let him touch me...even though I didn't want him too. I said no a couple times and tried to remove his hand. Eventually I just gave up and told myself it was fine.

But then he tried initiating sex. I said no, I didn't want to, stop etc. He kept trying to turn me over and take off my underwear. I even used our safe word just in case he thought I wanted him to be aggressive. But he just pinned me down and told me to stop.

Thankfully he stopped when I started getting louder and more assertive. Maybe because someone was in the next room that gave him pause...idk.

But then it's like he felt bad. He said he was sorry...and seemed to mean it.

Do you think this counts as a sexual assault? I don't know how I feel. I know it sounds stupid...but he feels bad about it. He didn't go through with it. But it still doesn't feel ok.