Ive had intrusive thoughts my entire pregnancy. Nearing the end they got worse and I was convinced that either I was going to die during childbirth or that the baby was going to be stillborn. Neither of those things happened of course. Her birth didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped though. I ended up having pitocin and that caused her heart rate to drop extremely low, then her shoulder got stuck, then she didn't cry right when she came out and she was grunting and struggling so she was put on the CPAP, I didn't have an epidural, only pain meds that had worn off hrs before so I felt it all. Now that shes here, 5 days old, Ive had thoughts of something bad happening to her daily. I keep thinking she's choking, not going to wake up and that my husband is going to drop her. Those are constant worries. Then there are the thoughts of weird random things that could happen but not likely, car accident, drowning, my toddler feeding her something and her choking. The list goes on and on. I look at her and just cry thinking about something bad happening. Im worried about her 24/7. I have Bipolar, Depression, Anxiety and OCD and right now Im only on Wellbutrin until I can see my Psychiatrist but this is killing me, Im so freaked out, haven't slept more than an hr and a half straight in the last 5 nights. I just don't know what to do or how to cope right now. I just needed to get this out because I feel so alone. My husband is trying to be supportive but he doesn't understand and I have no one else to talk too.