Discouraged and scared

I’m 36 soon to be 37, I have had 2 chemicals in the last year and my period is 7 days late as of today. I haven’t tested in 2 days, I had ordered tests from Walmart that should have been here today and none of them came. I cried my eyes out. I have been hoping and praying that I am pregnant and that this one will stick but I know that’s not likely. I keep setting myself of for this disappointment. All I have ever wanted since I can remember was to be a mommy. Why is it so hard for some of us while others it’s so easy. I’m crying typing this. It’s not fair. Sorry rant over.