I lived my life very sinfully until recently. I sinned big, and repeatedly although I got saved. I would ask for forgiveness, do better but then eventually go back to my old ways. I truly feel a change inside myself recently, I have asked God to forgive me and I have promised Him a change in my behavior, and I feel I’ve been set free. I feel guilty that it’s taken me so long. I feel guilty that I abused His grace. I wish so badly I could turn back time and honor God the way he deserves to be honored. I don’t feel worthy of the love He’s given. Of course I know that God is happy to give it freely, and that He doesn’t hold our past sins against us once we truly repent but I just still have this feeling that I’ve failed and I’m not good enough.

Edited because I just have to praise God. After I posted this I ended up finding a testimony from Kian Tilton on YouTube that really spoke to me and I suggest anyone struggling with guilt consider watching. Also, she linked to the song Ever Be by Aaron Shust and it was exactly what I needed to hear, and I know that was God giving me the answer I needed. He is so good. Leaving this post up even though I got my answer because hopefully it speaks to someone else who’s struggling.