It's been 4 years. I'm so tired. The negative tests hurt more and more every month. I took a test this morning and it looked like the most impossibly faint positive, but I just went to the bathroom and it looks like AF is here. I think my eyes were playing tricks on me because since I got pregnant 1 year ago this month, my mind was telling itself that it would be positive again this year. I thought you were supposed to get pregnant more easily even after a miscarriage if you have gotten pregnant once before? I've been obsessively looking at the test, and now I realize I was creating a positive in my heart. It's not there.

There is nothing worst than your period being 3 days late, thinking you may have a miracle positive, constantly checking yourself in the bathroom for days, and then starting AF again after years of negatives. Does it ever get easier?

I'm not sure how much longer I can keep doing this. My fertility doctor said we are about out of options, so I'm feeling more broken with every failed cycle.