To all of the families out there battling infertility.

You are strong.

You are brave.

You are fierce.

Each day of infertility is a day that I must look in the mirror and remind myself that this battle is not an easy one.

It hurts.

It disappoints.

It squeezes your heart and tries to steal the very life out of your hopes and dreams.

It makes the smallest task of grocery shopping a huge hurdle because if you so much as glance at the baby clothes you just may find yourself sobbing in the bathroom stall. Again.

It’s not for the faint of heart.

Sometimes we go through things no one else knows about. Have you ever had someone offer to give you their unborn child and then ghost you? Have you ever seen the double lines on a pregnancy test for the first time and believed that this was finally it, only to later learn the test was defective? Sometimes it feels like you’re on Oprah and everyone else gets “you get a baby! You get a baby! You get a baby!”

Oh but you? Yeah, nope, sorry you don’t.

There are no easy answers and try as you might to simply trust and believe, you’re hurting.

I don’t know who this is for, but can I tell you..

Jesus sees you.

You.

The one who feels completely alone and without hope.

The one who can’t find the words to pray and feels completely broken inside.

The one who has battled with throwing in the towel completely and giving up.

He sees you.

And if my years of barrenness have taught me anything, they have shown me He is with me.

Always.

He is there when you are broken in pieces receiving more disappointing news.

He is there when no one else understands.

He is there when you feel like you’re going crazy from the stress and pain of it all.

This battle is not yours alone.

Let Him help you carry this burden.

Even on those days you can’t seem to get past the confusion and anger, give it to Him.

He wants to help you, and He wants to heal your heart.

We are still in “the waiting” for our miracle baby & it’s one of the hardest places. Waiting. Simply waiting. But as we wait, we continue to press through and fight whatever obstacles and negative emotions that come our way.

I don’t see the future and I don’t know how it will all work out. I’m in a healthier place emotionally right now because I do have renewed hope that our baby will be here in the future and all of this pain will be a distant memory when we hold him/her in our arms.

But I didn’t reach this healthier place overnight. God shook me out of my despair and reminded me that He had me in His hand and He had a plan for me. He used social media (of all places!) to show us a video about Embryo Adoption and speak to our hearts about giving life to our adopted child. He used so many wonderful people to bless us financially and raise the needed money for our adoption fund. He has helped us so much spiritually and I’m overwhelmed with gratitude in my heart. ❤️

It is still a daily battle but I know He is fighting for me, He sees me and He is with me.

And sweet friend, He sees you too. ❤️

If you need a listening ear and someone to pray for you, please PM me. ❤️

For this child I have prayed