Is it selfish to cry when someone tells you they have depression?

Question

My boyfriend (24) told his mom about his depression and how it's been bad lately and she started to cry. She knows about it because he had therapy when he was younger and was abused by his dad. He has to comfort her now because she's crying. Is this selfish?

Answer

I don't think that's selfish, she probably feels awful that her son has to deal with that and she can't do anything to help him. It would've been better for her to save her tears until later but that doesn't always work, crying isn't something you have complete control over.

Answer

Do you have kids?

Answer

It depends, if she was crying because she was attempting to manipulate him or if she was a narcissist and can't stand attention being away from her then yes it would be selfish.
It seems more like she probably just hurts for her son and feels helpless hearing him say he is depressed and that it is getting worse. Perhaps she feels guilty.
It has always made me really sad to know someone I love was struggling with depression, especially because I know how it feels and I don't want anyone I care about to suffer like that.

Answer

I voted yes. She is allowed to feel pain for her son but he should not be comforting her for his issues. This does not give him room to express his emotions in the way he should because he is too busy making sure she is alright. It is selfish. She should be his support system. Good support systems allow you to grieve freely while assuring you that everything will be alright.

Answer

If my son came to me struggling with depression, I’d probably cry too. I’ve struggled with it since I was 10, and to know my son is also dealing with something that made him feel bad, and knowing I can’t fix it like I’d want to so he could be happy, would really make me sad and I’d want to do anything I could to help.

Answer

Not at all. She's not made of stone that she shouldn't cry when she hears her child is unhappy.

Answer

I don’t think it’s selfish but I hope she doesn’t make him comfort her too much. It’s natural when someone you care about a lot is hurting you feel that hurt. I’ve been on both ends of something like this and he just needs to figure out a dynamic that works with him and his mom. When I tell my dad about my struggles be always cries because he hates to see me hurting. It gets frustrating sometimes because I feel like i need to comfort him but I know that’s not his intention. Sometimes it doesn’t need to be one comforting the other. It can just be both people being sad together and that’s the conclusion I had to come to with my dad. There are also times when I will preface my conversation with telling him I need him not to do that so that he can be a rock for me.

Answer

Mama is hurting because her son is hurting.  It’s normal to cry because of that. Buuuuut,  her son shouldn’t have to comfort her. They could comfort each other though.

Answer

I think honestly that it’s their situation that they both need therapy together for. And however they cope and heal from it is their own journey.

Is it selfish to cry when someone tells you they have depression?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey