Just needed to vent

The TTC struggle is so emotionally crippling and just a cycle of beating yourself up...I know I shouldn't do it yet I do and cannot stop...just like tests if there here I have to take them...opks ive used thousands , expensive invasive testing machines we've bought , samples and specimens galore.....hope is a fickle bitch because she gives and takes...my husband absolutely feels helpless to comfort me because he knows no matter what he says its the voice in my head, the mixed tests and my missing ovary

and tube that scream in my mind...ladies thanks for the ear and support....this sites been a double ended sword because while I feel less alone, have some support and great tools its also a reminder of the struggle....Lord knows I've faced enough in life and its been anything but easy but this year this fertility struggle is the one that hurts the most....