Is she right or wrong for coming at him like this?

Question

So I came across this on Facebook.
This lady claims men are running away from responsibility because they disappear after they find out she has 3 kids. This particular guy explains to her why other men are not responsible for her baby daddies’ actions. According to him: “There’s a massive difference between responsibility and burden”.
I personally think there is nothing wrong with wanting a man to be a stepfather and help you raise your kids. However, expecting it as if some other guy’s kids are their obligation is a different story. Why do some single moms have such an attitude about men who are not the fathers of their kids taking responsibility for their kids as if it by force?
Anyway, below is their text exchange. Let me know your thoughts.

Accepted Answer

The man is absolutely right.  A man should not be held responsible or accountable for other people's kids.  They are not married or living together so he isn't responsible not even a little.  Man leave because she has a sour attitude

Answer

I think she’s right. The men don’t want the responsibility of the kids. They don’t owe it to her, but it is cowardice to just ignore someone and say shit like “I’ve been busy.” Be an adult and say you are not interested in taking on that responsibility. Maybe she should be more up front about it though. Idk enough about the dynamics.

Answer

I think chasing people and trying to guilt them like this is cringey. If you realize someone’s not interested, regardless of reasoning, move on. Telling them off isn’t going to make them like you again

Answer

He could’ve been more straightforward and said that he wasn’t interested in taking on the things that come with taking care of someone’s children. Other than that he isn’t wrong and she seems kind of bitter. If a man starts drifting off after you tell him you have kids, then let it be, he isn’t able to step up to the plate so good riddance. You don’t need that in your life so look at it as a blessing in disguise that it didn’t go any farther and you don’t have to explain to your children why so and so is gone. Her texting him calling him a coward in uncalled for, be grown up and leave him be

Answer

I don't understand why she's getting to the point of meeting up with people multiple times WITHOUT first telling them she has kids. I have 4 kids and I'm upfront about it from the start because there are plenty of guys who don't want to deal with that, and that's OK. It just means that they're not right for me and my family. I'd never hide my kids from someone to try and lure them in and then just expect them to deal with it and play daddy 🤷‍♀️

Answer

she's wrong. it's not another man's fault that she has no support from the person she had a child with. it's absolutely a burden. especially if he doesn't have kids and he doesn't want to deal with that. it's perfectly fine to want to only date someone without kids. that was my preference. and now I'm pregnant and engaged. the first child for us both. the way we both wanted it.

Answer

You should never force someone to take responsibility of your children. If someone doesn’t want to be a dad to your children, they don’t have to. Especially in the earlier dating phase. However, I couldn’t imagine being with someone long term that felt like my son was “just his daddy’s responsibility”. My husband now knew that being with me meant being a stepdad and he embraced it with everything he had. You’d never know that he’s not my sons “real” father and he doesn’t like the term “stepdad” when talking about his relationship to him because to him he’s “just a dad”. Long term, I would never want any less less for my child. No other mother should accept less either IMO.

Is she right or wrong for coming at him like this?

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