My mom died while I was in a mental hospital so I just got out of the hospital and they waited until I got out to do the funeral and I thought I wasn’t going to care because she stood by and let her my dad abused me and beat me until I was in the hospital and rape me and she just watch but I love her maybe she felt like she couldn’t stop him I’m the only immediate family that going to be there my dad is in jail my sister is dead and I don’t know if I can take this it is so overwhelming I never wanted pills more than anything right now I wish it wasn’t the first thing I thought about when they told me I don’t think I can go