Recently i sat down with my best friend and we spent all night talking about past traumas and how it’s affected us. My best friend is the most amazing human i know and he’s definitely my biggest inspiration. I don’t remember what we were talking about at the time but he said to me “it’s pointless to just exist. If you aren’t waking up and using every moment of everyday to make a better life for yourself then why are you even alive”. It was so simple but it was exactly what i needed to hear and strangely he wasn’t even directing it at me he was just making a general statement. After he left the next morning I couldn’t get that out of my head. I was motivated to make changes for the first time i could remember.

Flash forward not even two weeks later. I got a job that i absolutely adore and i’m really good at it. In response to getting that job and being forced to interact with people daily my social anxiety did a complete 180. I wake up happy and go to bed excited about the next day. I’m losing weight and becoming healthier. I started taking school seriously and i’ve been catching up on many, many months of classes i’ve pushed to the back burner. I’ve cut out so many toxic habits and people from my life. And most importantly i’m slowly learning to accept myself and find peace in what’s happening right now.

I realized he was right. I was just existing. Sleeping all day and wasting all my time doing literally nothing just staring blankly at the tv or scrolling through socials. Not doing anything to better me or my future. Not doing any of my class work. I was wasting away in all aspects of the term. Almost 17 years of wasting time with nothing to show for it.

It’s been two weeks and i’ve seen endless positive changes, i couldn’t be more excited for the future and all it took were a few simple words from the person i care the most about in this world. He won’t see this but i just needed to thank him for continuing to positively impact me and help me realize my worth. We’re still really young (16, 18) but i couldn’t be more excited to grow into whatever amazing things the future has in hold for us! He’s truly changed my life.

Thank you for letting me rant! ❤️❤️