Im losing myself. Marriage

Why do I feel like I want to kill myself but I can't.

I feel so down, drained, unappreciated. This is the second time I feel like my relationship is going down hill. I feel so unstable like im all over the place. Im trying to make somebody happy that seem like he's pulling away from me. I lost myself once trying to fix my marriage. And I feel like im doing it again.

My husband and I got into a argument because for the last few months I have been telling him I would like for him to do soemthing nice me. Since I have been doing thoughtful things for him. He then gets mad and tells me why he couldn't do those things because of bills and he choose to pay bills then to take me out. But im not asking for nothing big. Just something small that shows he cares of course im not being heard. He then goes and gets ne three gifts the next day and plans a dinner. Yes it was a cute and nice jester but I wanted it to come from hom without me saying anything.Every since that argument I have been getting a weird vibe. We well what I thought was going to be "make up sex" turned into him getting hard then going soft inside of me. Things seem off. He always tell me I can go through his phone like all the time. Which i don't. Things just feel weird and off. If he's not cheating he's either thinking about it or he finds somebody attractive at work. I just can't take this anymore. I'm losing myself trying to fix and make things better for him and I gets nothing in return.