Feeling like a disappointment...

Nothing hurts more than getting bad news after wanting something so bad. Last February I had a ectopic and ever since we've been trying. Well I found out a early last week that we were pregnant. I was so excited!! Finally getting our rainbow baby is what I was thinking. Well my world just came crashing down around me when I got my blood work back today to find out I'm possibly having another ectopic. My thoughts now why me, why is this happening, all I want is our rainbow baby in our arms, why cant i carry normally now I've had two kids and had no problems with them, what's wrong with me now. So many thoughts, and so many emotions. I still believe one day I'll have our rainbow baby. But right now I'm hurting and just feel like a total disappointment.