Do I have to pick getting pregnant or having career? Calling all professional women for advice.

Question

I'm 34 and my partner is ready for kids. I think I want to and feel excited when we talk about it. I worry about my career though, I want to keep working. I love what I do and have ambitious professional goals. I wonder that I'll somehow have to constantly choose between my job and our child. I wonder if  my partner will resent me, I wonder about getting passed over for promotions because I have a kid, or taking off three months knowing that my workload Never slows down. Calling all hardworking professional women - what is your experience been and how do you juggle family and demanding (rewarding) profession?

Answer

There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with wanting to work and having kids. Also know, if you're comfortable with it, the 12 weeks FMLA (if you're in the US) can sometimes be split up into multiple instances of smaller chunks of time. You get value from your work, you enjoy it and it makes you happy and feel successful. Having kids should not force you to give that up.
Have a frank conversation with your partner about what they would expect each of your roles to be with kids and ask if they'd resent you for still prioritizing doing well in your career. After all, you'd be showing your kids that women can have successful careers and can be working parents too. 
Also be open to changing your mind. I was adamant I would be a working parent, that my job was important to me and that I would go crazy as a stay home parent. 1.5 years into being a mom I have solidified that I really don't like missing my baby's daytime life and we are working toward me being able to stay home or transition to a part time role from home.

Answer

Soooo much to say here. I wish we could go out for drinks and chat. All of your concerns are valid and quite frankly the very things that makes being a working mom so hard. Since I’m not looking to write a novel here I’ll pick one point only - a supportive partner who is truly a partner is absolutely critical. There was a recent article in Vogue (yes Vogue) titled May Every Woman Find Her Marty Ginsburg. I recommend giving it a read.

Answer

I love my career. It’s a huge part of my identity and I was working on my Master’s Degree when I conceived our first. We now have two and it does require balance but it’s a healthy change. I used to work 15 hour days and now I leave on time to get to daycare and my family gets my attention in the evening. I am the type to work a bit after the kids go to bed and I work while on maternity leave even though I’m not supposed to, but it’s because it makes me happy and my brain needs it (especially when on leave). I’ve become better at my job because I know I have to work as efficiently as possible in the time I have. It’s forced me to change my perspective in ways that have really made me more innovative. Despite having some type of medical leave every year for three years, I have been promoted and my boss and colleagues value my input. Some days are hard. Some days my family doesn’t get the attention they deserve. Some days my job doesn’t get the attention it deserves. But I wouldn’t change my decision to have both a career and kids.

Answer

Honestly I feel like one parents job needs to be more flexible with a family. So in this case just make sure that one of you can drop off and pick up baby. 
Also children are such a blessing and should be a priority. Working is also putting them first to help provide for them. However figuring out the balance is difficult but you figure it out eventually.

Answer

Honestly in my opinion something does tend to get left behind. I haven’t personally met anyone whose managed to fully do both with young children without either the job or the kids being a bit neglected.
My husband and I are having chats about this at the moment (expecting our second baby any day) and have kind of decided that his career will take priority and I’ll maintain a more flexible one to work around the kids because they need to be a priority too and it’s important I’m there for them. It’s hard to take on promotions etc when you also need to be available if your kids are sick etc. 
Not saying it absolutely can’t be done but it definitely isn’t working for us at the moment, I’ve had to take quite a few days off to deal with kid issues this year as well as work my hours around our daughters kindergarten schedule. I’m definitely not thriving in my career at the moment which is fine with me, my kids are my priority right now!

Answer

I work and I’m pregnant💁🏻‍♀️

Answer

Make sure you have good help. Cause outside of that its hard.

Answer

There’s nothing wrong with being a working mom! I love my career (nursing) and yes, it does take time away from my boy, but I almost went crazy staying home on maternity leave. You don’t have to take 3 months if you don’t want. I took 7 weeks and was more than ready to go back to work.

Answer

It is not easy but if you continue to work hard you’ll be fine. I took 3 uninterrupted months off for mat leave (I’m in the US) and have been back for 11 months. In that time I’ve been promoted twice and my boss understand and agrees that family comes first.

Answer

It’s hard to really say...so basically it depends bc it’s different for everyone, so do what works for you, but definitely listening to your doctor is also very important. Basically for me I work at a hotel during nights, before finding out the good news I was planning on making a change to leasing specialist for an apartment complex. So now I’m thinking I should hold off because of benefits, like how long will have to wait to be qualified for fmla, how will the new bosses react to me calling off if something is up with the baby, or if I get put on bed rest again with this pregnancy how will this new employer feel about me taking time off already after only working there for a few months. I think I would rather stay here for the term of the pregnancy I’ve worked here for about 4 and a half years and my bosses are familiar with my work ethic, so the hotel is probably the best option for me for now. I plan on working though as long as I am able to but I don’t want to put my child at risk.

Do I have to pick getting pregnant or having career? Calling all professional women for advice.

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