I am struggling so bad from PPD.

My baby boy is 6 weeks old. Dad went back to work, 12 hrs a day, at 2 weeks. I tried my best to stick it out and with COVID just do it on my own but at about 3 weeks I realized I needed help from my parents and in-laws.

I talked to a psychiatrist and am starting a low dose of an antidepressant. But I just need it to work faster.

I cry all the time. I feel guilty that I don’t want to be around my son. I dread having to do night feedings. I have to actively tell myself that running away isn’t an option. When he cries I feel like it’s because I’m a bad mom. I feel horrible that I’m exposing him to in-laws and grandparents during COVID because I can’t get my shit together. I feel inadequate and so miserable. I just feel horrible that I feel this way with such an adorable and good baby — why can’t I feel the joy? He deserves so much better.

Does anyone else have PPD? What is/was your treatment plan? When did it start working? I just need some reassurance here.