I don’t know why I hate the way I look, everybody in my life including strangers have told me I am so beautiful and good looking. But I have always felt ugly especially as a young child. My self esteem has only gotten worse, my first bf used to tell me I am unconventionally beautiful, an acquired taste and that he was hesitant to date me bc im not “conventionally beautifully”. Basically my brain registered that as a Code word for ugly. Didn’t help that he told me his friend told him he was out of my league and that he could do better. Flash forward 4 years later he says I am so beautiful most beautiful girl he ever dated and that I’m gorgeous. he finally stopped emotionally abusing and putting me down. But nothing ever changes the way I feel