Painful sex, (fingering,penetration,head)

It all hurts.. I lost my virginity in January and I haven’t had sex since but yesterday I got fingered and ate out. And my vagina got really swollen and sore, as it always does some fingering hurt a lot and some felt good for a split second. I kept telling him to wet his fingers cause yk maybe that was the case and he did and it still hurt. I looked at his fingers and I guess they are pretty thick, 2 really hurt a lot. This is the same guy that took my virginity, I believe we have a soul tie because we can’t stop talking to eachother since, even if we fight we’re right back on the next second. And even when he took my virginity yk it hurt a lot but I guess that’s to expect but the second time it was the same amount and even the third. The only pleasurable thing was the hickeys, him massaging my back and ass. Other than that I really can’t enjoy sex, or I don’t find pleasure in a lot, then after the third I kept bleeding like I was on my period for weeks and that turned into months. So I went to the doctor and everything and I have no disease or anything. They recommended birth control, and that didn’t really do anything. It just eventually stopped on it’s own but it starts back everytime I have sex, the 1,2, and 3rd. So this fourth time we got intimate like 4-6 months later I just asked for head and fingering and it still hurt and got so swollen and idk what to do I feel broken, and it’s affecting me mentally as well as physically. The doctors say they don’t know what’s wrong as I cannot enjoy pleasure and that I need to see a professional but I am not able to get the professional help.. so after January I stopped having sex and became celibate as I was previously and before my virginity got taken when I was with my previous ex fingering and him eating me out hurt so I’ve been dealing with this trauma for a while now.. and I’m just I don’t know, gone.. I’m really just hurting about it because I feel like somethings wrong with me and it’s such a painful experience I force myself to try to enjoy it’s really just getting to me