...........ehhh

I try sooooo hard... soooo hard to get the attention of my fiancee. And it doesn't work. I literally find myself desperately trying to seek and gain his approval on everything.... my clothes, my hair, etc..I told him once id love to do a boudoir shoot for him. He looked at me like a was plum stupid and asked me why the hell id do that. So I put that thought to myself. I have a friend who is in photography and was doing a somewhat sultry Halloween shoot and I decided id do. So I did. And I was sooo hoping he would like them. But he never said a word.... he never comments on my pictures on social media unless it has our kiddos in them... ive noticed he doesn't save any of the pictures /selfies I send him. Probably petty but we have been together 4 years.. and over this 4 year spand... he has nothing of me on his phone except for our family pictures. I guess I'm just needing to vent. Idk. I just feel like.. he isn't attracted me. I dont think it helps matter for me any either considering I'm plus size and he is alot smaller. Its hard to explain exactly everything I feel. I stepped so far out of my comfort zone for this picture.. only to have it feel like he shit on me .